Cuddle Time!!  

Do we cuddle our kids enough?

I heard this very interesting conversation today about cuddles and kids and it made me think -  'Do I have enough cuddle time with my kids?' Am I showing them a good example of what a cuddle is and encouraging them in turn to enjoy and participate in cuddle time?

The answer is - I have no idea!!

By definition ''Cuddling is one of the best means of physical affection; it garners closeness, shows affection, and increases happiness. Cuddling releases a hormone which reduces stress and anxiety, meaning that it increases your mental well being as well'  WikiHow.

Looking back at my own childhood and my husband's childhood I feel we both grew up in although different families neither of us were deprived or overloaded with affection or cuddles. We both knew we were loved, wanted and cared for. However neither of us grew up with a lot of hugs, kisses and cuddles. I think it is a reflection of Ireland and family life at the time. We were a nation of minimum affection, don't talk about it and sure you'll be grand!

Thankfully times have changed and we are a lot more affectionate and open with our feelings especially with our kids. So I say with great certainty that I am affectionate with my kids, I tell them I love them regularly and give them hugs on a daily basis. However what about the issue of cuddles? There is a significance difference between a cuddle and a hug. I think of a hug is a short brief action of affection, you could give a hug to a family member or a friend. A cuddle on the other hand is more like a 'hug on steroids'. A cuddle goes much deeper and lasts a lot longer than a hug. Cuddles with your children are reassuring and relaxing. They build bonds and deep connections. They are a non-verbal way of showing you children that you love them, they are important and you just want to be with them. I think to have a proper cuddle you must sit or lie with your children and engage in the moment or cuddle. It needs to happen over a period of time otherwise you fall back in to the quick and brief hug category.

So do I cuddle my children enough? Yes and No...There are times when we have great cuddles and spent the time during the cuddle engaging on a deeper level with each other. We have what my kids refer to as 'family cuddle time' where we all have a big cuddle and shake each other about. On reflection this is more of a giant group hug but I would  not change it for the world. Hugs are important and I actively encourage them in our home.  However on reflection I think I don't spend enough time on a daily basis actually cuddling my children.

Now I could look at my daily life and analyse why I don't cuddle enough with my kids and beat myself up about it but you know whats the point? It comes down to the same old thing - not enough time to do everything and juggling 999 things at one time. So moving on from why not to how to and I think for me I need to prioritise cuddles and make them something so natural in our home that I don't have to prioritise and make an effort to have cuddles with my kids any more.    

My resolution -  cuddle more, do less!

I plan to bring more cuddles in to time spent doing activities like story time, watching TV and having a chat about their day.

I will let you know how I go....