Sometimes its OK to give in!!

Although this is a comic strip the story it tells is all too familiar to parents! Sometimes it is easier to give in to our kids and keep sane….

I totally believe that you have to choose your arguments with your kids. It is not a bad thing to give in to your kids now and again - within reason that is! Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying let your kids do what they like or get everything they want. I am all on for standing your ground with kids and sticking to what you say. However lets me honest - it’s easier said than done!! Sometimes you have to be wise and do whats best for everyone’s sanity.

So next time the kids are driving you mad and the constant nagging is getting too much, why not have a rethink and ask yourself is this argument worth it? is there a compromise or alternative that you could both agree on?

Givng in does not make you a bad mammy it means you can judge when an argument is just not worth the hassle or the temper tantrums!! Sometimes it really is a toss up between being consistent or remaining sane....

My son has another woman!!

I am feeling a bit odd at the moment slightly put out about what I discovered this afternoon - my son (my one and only!) has another woman or women in this case!! and if I am honest I am not totally happy with this, I should be the only woman in his life!

Let me explain I was sitting chatting to a friend who had called with her kids this afternoon when my son came over and handed me what he had got in school and forgotten to give me. As I looked at what he had brought home, I realised it was two Valentine’s cards from girls in his class.

‘Oh you got two Valentine’s cards!’ I said.

‘No mammy they are two letters!’ he said (or leh-hers as he pronounces it!!)

He refused to accept that he had received two Valentine’s cards and I let it be. Lets be honest boys of 5 years old just don’t have an interest in these kind of things - thankfully, as his mammy is not too impressed to discover MY little baby boy is growing up!!

I think what is bothering me to be honest is not that he got two Valentine’s cards (because really its so innocent - he is only 5 years old!) but it’s more that it was the first time I realised that I will not always be the main woman in his life! Now I know it is not going to happen today or tomorrow but I have to get my head around the reality that it will happen some day!

If I am finding it difficult at this age, what will I be like when it actually happens!? I can understand the reference now that you hear people say “no one is good enough for her son!” - I fear I may be one of those mothers!!

You just never know on Google+ !?

I am new to blogging and Google+, I just started in January! I am on a learning journey with all that is involved in blogging, liking, sharing and everything else! I write it as I see it and I write about what interests me or makes me think. I am really enjoying it all, It is my thing and I look forward to my time on my laptop - undisrupted, every night!

I have to explain that my blog is for me and is about doing something for myself (Juggling Mammy and ME!!) and I am always grateful for any feedback, comments or likes I get - it is an added bonus!.

What I am discovering though is that you just never know what people are going to react to, what they are going to read, like or comment on. Now don’t get me wrong this is a good thing and an exciting process but I am always amazed that something I might think is really good or interesting may not get any reaction or something I am just mentioning might get huge reaction and feedback…... you just never know what reaction you will get!!

Has anyone else found this?

Just let kids be...!!

I read an article recently (“Is it OK to let our kids settle for ‘good enough’?” from modernmom.com) that really made me think. The article discusses the idea of our children ‘specialising’ in the activities that they love and it raises the question of what to do (or not do) when kids are just having fun doing different activities and have not yet found their ‘thing’ if they ever find their ‘thing’!

It got me thinking about my kids and what they enjoy doing. Have they found their thing? I’m not sure but then again I think they are too young yet to have found their ‘thing’. Also what does it actually mean, having your ‘thing’?? Is a child’s or adult’s ‘thing’ something they excel at? are passionate about? or is it something they just really enjoy?

My kids do have many things that they are already interested in and enjoy. My oldest loves art and crafts and my middle child likes sport (he is not quite at love!) and my youngest well she is only 2yrs so anything that involves running around and making a mess or a commotion is her thing!

I don’t see myself as a pushy mother and I am not competitive (unlike my husband!) however I do get pulled in, on the odd occasion I may add, to analysing what other kids are doing, should my kids be doing that also and how good some kids are at certain things and if I am honest I do wonder…..

This is when I stop myself and have a reality check! I do not agree and do not like comparing children, they are individuals and should be treated as such. I hope that I will always be the supportive mammy not the pushy over involved mammy. I want to encourage my kids to experience different things and to at least give it a go and see what they think about an activity or experience. If they don’t like it or don’t enjoy it then thats that!

Kids should be having fun and enjoying what they do. They should not be feeling stressed or pressured to be ‘the best’ at something. If they love something then yes they should be supported and encouraged and given lots of opportunities to follow their passion and excel in whatever it is they choose. However I also think it is important that we as parents aren’t too pushy or over involved in our kids ‘thing’ as it is their passion and not our’s.

I want to be the sort of mammy that is open and accepting and that just lets her kids be. I have enrolled my kids in various after school and club activities over the years and some they have liked and some they have dropped out of. This is fine as I want them to have the opportunity to experience lots of various activities and for them to decide what they like and don’t like, not me.

I agree with this article when it states the we tend to focus too much on the outcomes, we need to focus on the experience and how the activity is contributing to our kids lives.. Is it enriching their lives? Are they enjoying it?

Will my kids be gifted or excel at something? Will they find their thing? I don’t know and really it does not matter. What does matter is that they are enjoying life and all they do, that they are happy and having fun and having lots of laughs and giggles along the way… because not just sometimes but all the time, being good enough is good enough!!   

  

Without my children my heart would be empty....

Without my children my house would be clean and my wallet would be full but my heart would be empty!!

I came across this quote yesterday and it really summed up my thinking at present. Given the recent mess and big clean up in our house I think this quote is exactly fitting at the moment for our home. My time is a little bit house work and lot of time to the kids - isn't that what life with kids is all about?

A Pause for thought on a Monday...

A few bits to think about on a Monday….Sometimes its hard to get going or feel energized on the first day of the week ahead, maybe some of these will help!!

Things I am glad happened this week!! (2)

I have had the most busy and crazy week and I am officially exhausted but despite all the madness it has also been a good week!! There are some things that happened that I am not happy about this week - the many late nights, kids sick again (all three of them!), too many arguments and not enough home cooked meals (bad eating habits) but there are also a few things I am glad happened this week!!

1. I got snow balled!!

We got snow this week, not a lot it only lasted for the evening. However it was enough for myself, the kids and grandparents to all get outside for a good snow ball fight!! We had such fun together. The kids had such a wonderful time throwing snowballs at mammy, nanny and grandad. We were completely overrun by all three of them, with snow balls coming from all directions and yes the kids beat us hands down - they were  far too quick for us!! We rarely get snow so it was a real threat for all of us. It was my youngest’s first time to experience snow and the first time for their grandparents to have fun in the snow with them!! It is the stuff great memories are made of…

2. I finally got some control over our home!

Our home has been in an absolute mess and so out of control since the beginning of January. How it got in to this sorry state is a combination of not having the time, not having the interest and not having the energy to do it sooner and hence it just got worse and worse and then even worse again!! It has been a crazy two weeks getting control of it but it has been so worth it. My family and I are feeling positive about our home again, we can actually find things and know where things are and we can actually see the shape and furniture in all the rooms again!! It is by no means spotless or complete but I finally feel like we have our home back...

3. Lunch for two - only!!

Myself and my husband finally got out to have a meal together on Valentine’s Day - It was great! We had been talking and trying to plan a meal together since last November so I suppose it was good going to get out 3 months later!! We had a great time and had a lovely slow relaxing lunch. Yes it was Valentines so a good reason to do it but our lunch out was less about romance and candle light but more about catching up and connecting with each other. Our only problem is with three young kids, we just don’t do it enough!!

4. Schools Out - Yea!!

My kids are on mid-term all next week and I am so happy about this. I always feel I am more in need of the break at mid terms than they are but really we all benefit for the time out from school. It is so great that we don’t have to get up at a certain time every morning or have to be out at a certain time, our days are our own to do and go where we want when we want. We plan to take it easy, have fun and relax. We will get out and about and meet friends but I want more so to reconnect with my kids over the week ahead. Given how busy I have been since January I really want to spent the time actually WITH my kids - no distractions and definitely no cleaning!!

5. Good food, good company, great friends!!

We had friends and their kids staying over at the weekend. We know them for years and get on really well. Our kids are all of similar age and also get along great together. It was lovely to catch up, chat and relax. We had a tasty dinner (even if say so myself - I made it!) and plenty of drink and laughs. I always enjoy having people over to dinner or for a stay over especially when they are good friends and have kids. Everyone benefits and has a great time!! and yes we are all wrecked now but it was such good fun!!

So that is some of the things I am glad happened this week...How was your week?