Making time for me!!

This blog is about juggling being a mammy and being me and my attempt to find a balance between the two. I went out with some friends to a table quiz tonight, it was a fundraiser so I was going mainly because I felt I had to.

However I realised after having a great night out that I need to do this more often and that I don’t go out enough!! I do have some balance - but not near enough!- between being a mammy and doing something for me. I have things I like to do that are not about the kids or home life, they are about me but the actually going out and spending a good length of time away from the home and kids, well that I rarely do!!

I think some times as busy Mammys we take time out from our kids because we are at that stage that we have to because we are stressed or fed up or we go out because there is something on that we have to attend. How often do we actually take a decent amount of time out just because we can and not because we need to? We deserve to have time out and hours off from being a mammy but we don’t do it enough, I know I certainly don’t!

This time out is for me to just be me and not a mammy for a while. It is another step I can take to reconnect to me and to having more of a balance in my life. So from now on, juggling being a mammy and being me is going to involve more time out and having more of these nights out - without the kids!!

Homework - A battle or bonding opportunity?

I have had many a battle with my oldest in trying to get her to do her homework. I have heard myself on lots of occasions asking her to ‘just sit down and do your homework’ and to ‘hurry up and get it done’. Now my oldest has only gone in to Senior Infants last September so I readily admit that I am new to this and it is only the beginning of the dreaded homework battles!!

However I also have to admit that this homework battle is not working in our home and that it is causing more hassle that it is worth. I do not like fighting with my kids and I was not comfortable with the tension that homework was causing between my oldest and I each school evening.

Just before Christmas I gave up, I had had enough and decided to put a stop to this homework craziness. I was tired of trying to get my oldest to do her homework, do it right and within a certain time frame and she was tired of the pressure of having to do her homework every evening. So come January I changed my approach to homework and changed how my oldest does her homework.

I now sit down in the afternoon with my two kids and we do the homework together and I do not put any time limit on it. Yes there are lots I need to do but I have had to let it go and yes my home has suffered - it is a mess but the tension is gone and my oldest and middle child, who just started homework after Christmas are actually enjoying doing her homework and have asked for more work to do some afternoons!!

I am a lot more relaxed and involved in doing the homework and it has made us closer. Before I would have been hovering while she did her homework and listening with a distracted ear while trying to juggle all the other things going on in our home at that time. Now we are sitting down, having uninterrupted time and working on something together and at the same time chatting and enjoying each others company. I go at their pace and with what they want to do. I can help my kids when they are struggling with an exercise and can praise them when they do well in a real and meaningful way.

I find that I am discovering lots about my kids and their academic ability and style of learning. I have learned that my oldest prefers to do most of her homework in one afternoon and does not want to be doing it over the course of 4 days. My middle child works best doing one exercise every afternoon and can only concentrate on a little at a time and needs plenty of variety to keep him interested and concentrating.

                                                                                                                    

We vary what we do and for how long each afternoon, sometimes it is just to read and maybe colour other times we do the homework exercises and extra exercises and spend longer doing homework. I go at their pace and we do what they want and we stop when they have had enough. The real change and success has been that we all chat and have fun together instead of battling against each other. My kids like this time together and almost never complain now when they have to their homework.

Now I am not saying that this is the recipe for success with regards homework, I am just sharing my experience and pleasure at how things have changed in our home at homework time. We still have our battles and arguments but this change has meant there is now definite times in the week that we sit down and actually have fun doing something that previously caused mayhem in our home!

So to conclude I would say homework can be a battle but it can also be a bonding opportunity if approached in a relaxed and positive way.

Now if I could just sort out all the other dilemmas and battles in our home…..     

Make time for homework.......

    

  

Sometimes you just got count to ten and breath - slowly!!

I am in the middle of a serious tug of war with our playroom and right now the playroom is winning hands down!! I was in the middle of this battle yesterday evening when my darling children tipped me over the edge and right down the other side and then rolled me over to fall some more!! - I love my kids..!!??

I shall explain...As I battled away with our playroom (Day 3 by the way) my kids were going between the kitchen and family room (just beside the playroom) as they were banned with a capital B from the playroom! My youngest came to the playroom and said so innocently ‘Mammy look my leg’ as I turned around I seen with horror she was completely covered in black marker!! not only was it all over her legs but her feet, arms, hands and face.

I was so annoyed and just wanted to scream as a) she was covered in marker and would need a shower and b) cleaning her meant less time in the playroom and I just wanted to get it done!! So I took a deep breath counted to ten and took her aside and in a firm but calm(ish) tone, I explained that markers were not allowed on her body - anywhere!!

After she got a quick clean I headed back to the playroom. Then about 5 minutes later my son stated from the kitchen that he didn’t feel well. I looked up at him and you know that look kids get just before they are about to vomit and you just know its going to go everywhere? Well my son gets that look and within seconds he vomited all over the floor!!

Now normally vomit does not phase me but because I was sorting the playroom lots of toys and bits were in the kitchen and yes you guessed it, he vomited all over these as well… As I looked on and seen what was happened I told him to go to the toilet and get sick, NOW!! but as he did so he continued to vomit all over himself and the walls and hallway and then all over the toilet floor until finally getting to the toilet and vomited in there. Words can not describe how I was feeling right then, part of me just wanted to run out the door but my son was sick so I had to go into Mammy caring mode and see how he was. So for the second time in less than 10 minutes I took a deep breath and counted to ten and went to take care of my son.

Once he was settled and sorted and given the sick bowl, I then cleaned, scrubbed and disinfected the floors, toys and walls. Then I headed back to the playroom and attacked it with rapid speed to try to make up for the time I had lost.

About 5 minutes later my oldest daughter called me to come quick, which I did and found that my son had gotten sick again, he had missed the sick bowl but had got the mat and couch instead!! just as this happened my youngest decided to grab a yogurt from my other daughter and in doing so spilled it all over her and the curtains….. so for the third time I took a very deep breath and counted to 100!!!

I just love my kids….!!??

  

So True...

So True.....

                                     

'When a child gives you a gift, even if it is a rock they just picked up, exude gratitude, it might be the only thing they have to give, and they have chosen to give it to you'

I have just come across this quote completely by accident and I love it! My kids are always collecting stones, flowers and twigs and giving them to me. Up until now I have not really though much about these little generous acts or stopped to appreciate their kindness. I will certainly look upon these moments differently from now on. Its great when you find a simple quote that changes the way you think or see things and adds to your life in a positive way! - The power of a few words...  

Cuddle Time - Update

                                           

                                                                                                    

Cuddle Time - Update!

Now I wrote some time ago (26.01.14) asking the question - do I cuddle my kids enough? and after some consideration I realised that I didn’t spend enough time actually cuddling my kids. So I concluded that I was going to make an effort and take time to cuddle my kids more. How is it going?

It is amazing how things can change just by being aware of something and that is so true in this case. I can honestly say it has been no ‘effort’ to increase the time I spend cuddling my kids. It has just happened and we are all the better for it. Now don’t get me wrong I have not mastered it yet but the amount of time and the amount of cuddles has increased and it just happens naturally without having to make an effort. My kids have had a great reaction to mammy cuddling them more and have totally taken to all the extra cuddles.

For me what has worked is having a bottom line and that is I have to have one meaningful cuddle time with each of my three kids. If I achieve this I am happy and anything extra to this is a bonus. This is an achievable and realistic goal for me and it prevents me adding undue  and extra pressure on myself every day (I have been know to do this before!!). The type of cuddle time varies with each child. With my oldest I usually sit down with her and watch some TV and chat about the cartoon or we sit in the playroom and chat about her day at school, what’s going on or what she wants to do for the rest of the day etc. For the middle one it usually involves a chat, a bit of messing about and a few tickles (he is very ticklish and loves being tickled). The youngest likes to cuddle up to watch TV or read her books. It is actually proving to be a good way for her to have some down time as she is 2yrs old and is full of energy!         

Now I know this all sounds great and I may seem like the perfect mammy but I can assure you I am not! This is what I try to do every day but I have to clarify that there are days when we are out all day or we have people over for most of the day and on these days I don’t always get the individual cuddle times in. On these days I just sit down with my kids before they go to bed and we all cuddle up and watch some TV. You got to do what you can when you can!  

On reflection I think that sometimes as busy mammys we just forget or miss the obvious and that is OK once you do something to change things when you realise whats happened. I had forgotten how important it was to have meaningful cuddle time with my kids, I was having hugs just not enough cuddles!! So if you like me find you can relate to this I can only recommend having at least one proper cuddle with each of your kids or one big family cuddle time each day- we are all a lot closer and it feels great!!

Let me know how it is for you and if you have any recommendations about cuddle time.......      

Spring Time, Clean Time - No / yes?

Spring Time, Clean Time - No / yes?  

I am always amazed when the first of February arrives, I am relieved that January is gone but I am also thinking where did January go and how could it be February already?? Out of all the months I find January the longest and the quickest! Does anyone else find this?

With February comes the beginning of Spring and the end of Winter!! As I read all my house magazines there is a lot of emphasis on the concept of ‘The Spring Clean’. I find myself buying in to this concept and it has got me thinking about the current state of our home. Now it all looks so good in the magazines, so easy and if you follow the step by step instructions to a clean and organised home you’ll be soon enjoying the rewards!! Yea right if only it was that easy…

The reality for me is that I am in a permanent and continuous ‘spring clean’. I started it about 6 years ago when we moved in to our home and am still striving to get to the end of it. We live in chaos all the time, we have three energetic kids and a mammy who does a bit but would rather be spending time with the kids or having a cuppa with a friend than cleaning the house - hence the chaos! and you know to be honest, I would not have it any other way….

Now don’t get me wrong it is not like I spend my day with my feet up relaxing and hanging out with my kids. The reality is I don't stop going all day - sound familiar? There is always something we have to do and places we have to be, so as a result the home and the big clean suffers. I get the basics done most days but those time consuming chores just don’t get done on a regular or yearly basis sometimes. Now don't get me wrong I struggle with the mess at times especially when it gets bad - like right now!! - and it does get to me but I have to stop and remember that I do the best I can, I have to juggle three kids, a part time job and a busy life - I can’t do it all!!

However these magazines have inspired me and I can feel a ‘Monica Moment’ coming on. My husband refers to the times when I go at the house like a mad woman and clean it to within an inch of it’s life then collapse from exhaustion, my ‘Monica Moments’ (Monica from Friends, the compulsive obsessive cleaner). So between these magazines and the fact that my home is in a bad way I am thinking it is time to stock up on cleaning products and get going…..ah maybe I’ll have a cuppa first, have a think about it all and make a plan….  

So true...

So true.....