Thursday 6 February 2014

Homework - A battle or bonding opportunity?





I have had many a battle with my oldest in trying to get her to do her homework. I have heard myself on lots of occasions asking her to ‘just sit down and do your homework’ and to ‘hurry up and get it done’. Now my oldest has only gone in to Senior Infants last September so I readily admit that I am new to this and it is only the beginning of the dreaded homework battles!!


However I also have to admit that this homework battle is not working in our home and that it is causing more hassle that it is worth. I do not like fighting with my kids and I was not comfortable with the tension that homework was causing between my oldest and I each school evening.


Just before Christmas I gave up, I had had enough and decided to put a stop to this homework craziness. I was tired of trying to get my oldest to do her homework, do it right and within a certain time frame and she was tired of the pressure of having to do her homework every evening. So come January I changed my approach to homework and changed how my oldest does her homework.


I now sit down in the afternoon with my two kids and we do the homework together and I do not put any time limit on it. Yes there are lots I need to do but I have had to let it go and yes my home has suffered - it is a mess but the tension is gone and my oldest and middle child, who just started homework after Christmas are actually enjoying doing her homework and have asked for more work to do some afternoons!!


I am a lot more relaxed and involved in doing the homework and it has made us closer. Before I would have been hovering while she did her homework and listening with a distracted ear while trying to juggle all the other things going on in our home at that time. Now we are sitting down, having uninterrupted time and working on something together and at the same time chatting and enjoying each others company. I go at their pace and with what they want to do. I can help my kids when they are struggling with an exercise and can praise them when they do well in a real and meaningful way.


I find that I am discovering lots about my kids and their academic ability and style of learning. I have learned that my oldest prefers to do most of her homework in one afternoon and does not want to be doing it over the course of 4 days. My middle child works best doing one exercise every afternoon and can only concentrate on a little at a time and needs plenty of variety to keep him interested and concentrating.
                                                                                                                    
We vary what we do and for how long each afternoon, sometimes it is just to read and maybe colour other times we do the homework exercises and extra exercises and spend longer doing homework. I go at their pace and we do what they want and we stop when they have had enough. The real change and success has been that we all chat and have fun together instead of battling against each other. My kids like this time together and almost never complain now when they have to their homework.


Now I am not saying that this is the recipe for success with regards homework, I am just sharing my experience and pleasure at how things have changed in our home at homework time. We still have our battles and arguments but this change has meant there is now definite times in the week that we sit down and actually have fun doing something that previously caused mayhem in our home!


So to conclude I would say homework can be a battle but it can also be a bonding opportunity if approached in a relaxed and positive way.


Now if I could just sort out all the other dilemmas and battles in our home…..     







Make time for homework.......


    





  

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